Finding a Different Perspective

Sometimes in life you are reminded of things from your past, a feeling, a person, a time when things were a certain way. For me it happens in many different ways and today I am reminded of what it was like to be a teenager. As my daughter is approaching her “tween” years, my mind is constantly cycling through what it was like for me at that age and as an older, wiser woman I am now seeing things from a different perspective.

There are two kids sitting three feet from me oblivious to the other people in the waiting room. These kids are obviously stupid about each other and the truth is that the word stupid is the perfect way to describe how they are acting with one another. I would guess by the way they look that they are about 16. They are sitting against a wall, sides touching, facing the same direction.

teenage love

The girl has her bright pink phone in her hands staring at the screen and her boyfriend makes a comment about something on the phone occasionally pulling his own out in what seems like a comparison. He keeps giving her the wide eyed look like he is begging with his eyes for her to look back. She repeatedly blurts out things like stop… don’t do that… stop that…. You can tell she isn’t really annoyed but it’s her way of telling him what to do and seeing what she can get away with.

From the way he looks at her I can tell there isn’t anything else going on in his mind besides what he believes to be love at this point.

Stupid. Uncontrollable. Love.

In reality we know looking back on our past mistakes that this was not love and we all made the stupid assumptions that it was real. Looking at these teenagers and remembering my own experiences I can only relate the feeling to being drunk. You make stupid faces, you get too uncomfortably close even in public, you don’t care what anyone around you thinks, and you are completely out of control of your own body. You are having the time of your life and you never want it to end but it does, usually paired with a bunch of regret after it’s over.
Everything is about perspective and I can’t help but think into the future of this girl and wonder what she will think about when she looks back on this time with this boy from a different perspective.

I think about my daughter and wonder if I will be able to get through to her when she is feeling this way. I worry that she will be just another lost teenager that feels like nobody understands. I hope sharing my own experiences with her will help her to see that everyone goes through it. I want her to know that it will fade away like everything fades into a memory eventually no matter how Stupid and Uncontrollable your love may be.


  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    Now you have me thinking. My son is only about 5 years away from being that age and I am SO NOT ready for him to act and feel like that about a girl. Yikes.

  2. Ugh. I am SO not ready to try to guide my children through these years. I had a hard enough time getting through them myself.

  3. Oh gosh. I remember my “first love”. My mother must have been a wreck. He was a bad boy’s bad boy, and he just exuded charm and sexy. I’m so glad he wasn’t my last love!

  4. Good luck with your daughter. Mine is turning 15 in a few weeks. She thinks she is turning 21. Little miss drama boss.

  5. I remember being that age and being insanely crazy about boys…then my boyfriend. It is a rough age. Just always remind your daughter that she is precious and worth so much.

  6. The comparison to being drunk is definitely true, haha I hadn’t thought about it like that. 🙂 I would have no idea how to raise a teenager these days, especially if they were anything like me. 🙂

  7. Oh gosh…I am dreading this time with my son. He is only 8 years old now. Eek!

  8. Michele D says:

    Raising teenagers can be very difficult. I am pretty blessed with the twins that I have. I’ve already gone through somethings with girls and their demands. Not easy at all.

  9. My son is right on the edge of this now and it really worries me. I hope I’ll be able to help him navigate through choices and decisions but i remember how I saw things when I was that age.

  10. My oldest daughter was a textbook nightmare teen. My 16 year old and 14 year old rarely act out, which has been such a blessing!

  11. It’s crazy how caught up in the moment you become when you’re young and in love. I definitely remember the first relationships my kids had as teens.

  12. Teen years are tough and looking back sometimes I wonder why I thought I had to problem solve myself instead of asking for help from my parents. I raised two children through those years and they knew they could talk to me about anything and that seemed to help.

  13. I am thinking about for my two boys i’m not yet ready for this kind of situation lol haha . but it reminds me something from my past.

  14. Just reading thins makes me remember “all the feels” of being young and dumb and in “love”. LOL!! You will get through it too Mom!!

  15. Just the fact that you’re thinking about this before it happens means you’re in a better place to help your daughter navigate everything than some moms might be! Hang in there, mama!

  16. I’m not prepared for the dating scene with my boys. I’m hoping that by the time they’re ready, they will know the difference between love and crushes after the years of talks we’ve already started with the tween scene. 🙂

  17. Everything you said, reminded me exactly of my teenage/college years. Sadly, I doubt our stories will get through to our own children. They will have to experience it themselves and learn. Hopefully though, they make better choices in “love” than we may have.

  18. It took me a really really really (did I mention ‘really’) long time to see my teen love was not real love. Long after I married (another) I thought it had been real.

  19. I definitely wouldn’t want to see any of my kids acting like that in public. Sometimes though, no amount of explanation would let them see things through.

  20. I worry about our tween son too. The only thing that I am glad about is he opens up to us about his crushes and “girlfriends”. Not sure exactly if he knows the meaning of girlfriends. 🙂

  21. I feel the same way, I have two tweens now at home and I keep comparing what I was like to what they are like now. It makes me scared most of the times.

  22. Very interesting perspective. I don’t have kids this old yet and I don’t want to think about it either. LOL

  23. Ann Bacciaglia says:

    My kids are teenagers and we have been going threw all the dating stuff. It is so hard when i do not like the guy my Daughter wants to go out with.

  24. I am glad I am not the only one that wonders what it will be like when my kids are in this stage.

  25. My daughter is 11 so this will be coming for me soon. I hope to have open communication with her then too.

  26. CourtneyLynne says:

    Ahhhhhhb reading stuff like this makes me so happy my daughter is only 3!! I’m going to die the day I have to help my daughter threw subjects like this lol….

  27. Stupid in love for sure, I know exactly what that feels like. My son is almost 11 and he isn’t into girls just yet but I know its coming. I will try to think of myself at this age.

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