Sometimes in life you are reminded of things from your past, a feeling, a person, a time when things were a certain way. For me it happens in many different ways and today I am reminded of what it was like to be a teenager. As my daughter is approaching her “tween” years, my mind is constantly cycling through what it was like for me at that age and as an older, wiser woman I am now seeing things from a different perspective.
There are two kids sitting three feet from me oblivious to the other people in the waiting room. These kids are obviously stupid about each other and the truth is that the word stupid is the perfect way to describe how they are acting with one another. I would guess by the way they look that they are about 16. They are sitting against a wall, sides touching, facing the same direction.
The girl has her bright pink phone in her hands staring at the screen and her boyfriend makes a comment about something on the phone occasionally pulling his own out in what seems like a comparison. He keeps giving her the wide eyed look like he is begging with his eyes for her to look back. She repeatedly blurts out things like stop… don’t do that… stop that…. You can tell she isn’t really annoyed but it’s her way of telling him what to do and seeing what she can get away with.
From the way he looks at her I can tell there isn’t anything else going on in his mind besides what he believes to be love at this point.
Stupid. Uncontrollable. Love.
In reality we know looking back on our past mistakes that this was not love and we all made the stupid assumptions that it was real. Looking at these teenagers and remembering my own experiences I can only relate the feeling to being drunk. You make stupid faces, you get too uncomfortably close even in public, you don’t care what anyone around you thinks, and you are completely out of control of your own body. You are having the time of your life and you never want it to end but it does, usually paired with a bunch of regret after it’s over.
Everything is about perspective and I can’t help but think into the future of this girl and wonder what she will think about when she looks back on this time with this boy from a different perspective.
I think about my daughter and wonder if I will be able to get through to her when she is feeling this way. I worry that she will be just another lost teenager that feels like nobody understands. I hope sharing my own experiences with her will help her to see that everyone goes through it. I want her to know that it will fade away like everything fades into a memory eventually no matter how Stupid and Uncontrollable your love may be.