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Parenting Struggles & Surprise Endings

Having a daughter who reminds me of myself in so many ways has had its share of ups and downs. I sometimes find myself nurturing my inner child while spoiling my actual child, it can be hard to find a healthy balance of the two. I think all parents can relate to this in some sense, the time you give your child an electric guitar for their birthday because you never had one or when you get them a dog because your parents hated pets and you promised yourself that when you had kids, they would get any pet that they wanted.

To make sure I am being the best that I can be,  I often take a step back and take a look at our relationship to analyze things, trying to make sure that I am giving her the best even when it doesn’t feel like it at times.

There is a fine line between giving your child things to make them happy now and giving them things that will make them miserable later. It is easy to give in to them when they want those extras here and there but at some point, you have to decide that enough is enough, to keep from conditioning them to expect things to come so easily to them.

I struggle with this part of parenting just like any other mom, I want to make my daughter happy and at the same time I realize that she needs to learn that you can’t always get what you want. Like a lot of moms, I worry about my daughter’s mental health as she navigates through these teen years. She is a well adjusted happy person by all means but the teen years can be hard for even the seemingly perfect kids.

That is why when my daughter who loves to write, shared her most recent poem with me, I was very concerned by the sad, self-loathing content which you can read below.

When the poem started out with. My life is not worth living, my heart sank. I went on to read I refuse to believe I am a good person. This part made me wonder what could ever make her think that she is not a good person, she is, in fact, the best person I know, kind and caring, a joy to be around.

I then read to the end, The truth is I am ugly, terrible, and worthless So don’t try to convince me that I am beautiful, inside and out.

I could barely form a sentence at this point, I was so baffled by what I had just read.

I gave her a look of confusion and she met it with a smirk, at this point I knew something was up.

She then proceeded to tell me to read it from the bottom to the top, so I did.

 

At this point, I felt a great deal of relief and I was extremely impressed by how clever this poem turned out to be.

When I read the words, I am beautiful, inside and out So don’t try to convince me that I am ugly, terrible, and worthless

I was pleasantly surprised by this turn of events and continued to read the rest of her writing with a big smile on my face.

The truth is I am a good person I refuse to believe My life is not worth living. 

I was not only happy to be wrong about my initial reaction to her poem but I was also so proud of her creativity and her ability to know me so well. She knew what kind of reaction she would get out of me when reading this poem and it reminds me once again of how incredibly awesome being a parent can be.

I hope you enjoyed it.

ellen beck

Tuesday 9th of October 2018

I liked how she worte it 'upside down' very nice!!! Yes it is tough giving things. Kids remember some ' things' of course, but time is the important thing and you give her hat, and she will remember.

Pedro De Pacas

Tuesday 9th of October 2018

That ish blew my mind ese!